Most mornings getting ready for work I listen to gospel music. And yes, a lot of mornings I'm singing right along with the artists, much to my neighbors' dismay I'm sure. Last Tuesday, one of the songs that came on was "A Miracle Today" by the Bowling Family. As I was singing along, it was just what I needed to hear then.
Last week, my grandfather we discovered might have leukemia. (Read more here.) Tuesday that was at the forefront of my mind. And this song became my prayer. Today it is especially my prayer, because this afternoon we will get the results from his tests.
"You see the puzzle not the piece
You see the forest not the trees
You know what's best for me
Lord, you have bottled my tears
You see my questions and my fears
And the way it has to be.
I know that there are others more deserving than I.
I know that I'm not worthy but You listen when I cry.
So if this cross is mine to bear, I'll praise You anyway.
Lord, I could sure use a miracle today."
As I was singing along Tuesday, I got to the phrase, "So if this cross is mine to bear, I'll praise you anyway," and I stopped. I couldn't manage to get the words out, so I let the lyrics soak in. If the worst happens, if it is leukemia, God, I'll praise You anyway because You are God. But God, I'm still praying for that miracle.
"You are faithful more than words
You feed the lilies and the birds
You catch the sparrow when it falls.
You know exactly where I am
So I'm not questioning Your plan
There's a reason for it all."
The second verse reminds us that God is faithful, and He has a plan. We certainly don't always understand why He works the way He does, but He has his reasons. He knows our situation better than we do, because he sees the big picture, the puzzle not the piece.
The song has literally been my prayer for the past week. God, I know that there are those more deserving than I for you to hear their cries, but I'm praying for a miracle, for healing. I'm praying that God works in a mighty way for my grandfather and our family. We're asking for a miracle. It's a comfort to know that He's hearing us as we cry out to him with our needs and requests. But no matter what happens, I'll praise Him.
His appointment is early this afternoon. He had a bone marrow test early last week to see if it is leukemia, and we will get the results then. I covet your prayers for my grandfather and our family. I'll try to update this afternoon. No matter what the news is, God has heard our cries and sees our questions and fears. God knows where we are and has a bigger plan than we can see. And no matter what, we will praise Him because He is worthy.
UPDATE: We received the news this afternoon that he does in fact have leukemia. The doctor said it best when he said it's not as good as it could be, but it's definitely not as bad. We can praise Him because it's a chronic kind and not acute. It's treatable by medication and not chemotherapy. Thanks for all the prayers for my family and me. Keep praying that he will be able to take the medication and that it will be effective in treating him! The doctor said that he really expected it to be the acute kind and that my grandfather would have to be hospitalized almost immediately. God is so good, and He is in control! He is answering prayers!